Because the promises you make yourself are the most important to keep…
Earlier this year after reading Hannah Arendt’s quote “Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future making it predictable and reliable to the extent that this is humanly possible.” I made a small list of promises. The idea of looking into the future and being able to order it as much as it is in my power to do so, felt better than making resolutions. OCD much? Oh yes, always.
So here’s the list I made again and how I’m doing so far:
- I started out strong this year. Met Jeremy through Skillshare and he taught me how film production was done, and completely coaxed me through nerves. If anyone is ever in need for a awesome geeky freelance videographer who loves beer, I know a guy.
- Learned to do calligraphy from Patricia and Carol
- Made XLBs with Laurie and nearly murdered the both of us in the process (long story)
- Devised some new recipes for sous vide and Instant Pot
- Posted consistently to the blog for about 4 months
- Emily helped me make an outfit for cosplay this year at Comic Con
Somewhere along the line however, I ran out of steam. The other week I read The Oatmeal’s comic on how Creativity is like breathing. I think at 1/3 into the year some other events needed my energy and that’s when everything went to the shitter. I need to get this back on track, but to do that… I’ll need to take some deep breathes.
- I woke up in the middle of the night early January and signed up for my first full marathon. Insomnia makes you do crazy things. It’s roughly a month away now.
- Ran two 10ks. One was my first ever trail run which completely wrecked me.
- Completed swim class.
- Hiked and camped my way to Machu Picchu.
The truth is… I loathe running. I do it because it helps me sleep, gives me time to process thoughts, and I always feel good after. But I don’t like running and going for long runs take up a lot of time.
The trek to Machu Picchu definitely helped me reinforce the feeling of being able to match up what my mind believes I can accomplish with what my body can handle. For me, this is the best way to feel strong that I have found.
During the trek my mind almost didn’t make it with me to Machu Picchu. I don’t sleep much normally at home and I slept much less in Peru. We hiked 6-8 hour days for 4 days with altitude and with a hint of food poisoning those last two days were very very hard. Thank goodness for my roommate Amanda who made me laugh at the sometimes mediocrity of this adventure, Karen for keeping me company as I heaved uphill on Dead Woman’s Pass and being able to find 3G signal so that I could receive some comforting words from Pete to cheer me up when I was feeling pretty low. The hike felt really good to do, and I want to make time to do more things that stretch my mental and physical limits in the second half of this year.
Change my narrative
- I think this is the one thing I’ve been consistent on. Being more open, honest and not holding back how I feel. I’ve done a lot of line drawing this year and it’s saved me some anguish for sure.
- I’m an uber geek girl who has an interest in #allthethings despite what people think upon meeting me.
- Going to try to make another strong push to do this more for the second half of this year. I’m a bit exhausted at the midpoint with being on call helping others. I need to do a better job helping myself.
Accepting things from others
This is a mixed bag. As I have mentioned before, I do not like asking for help. It pains me so much not being able to do everything myself. But I’m trying to force myself to do this. Luckily my friends have taught me co-dependance lol. J/K. They have taught me that there are people that I can count on to bail me out in a jam, and they pre-emptively offer help and consistently follow through on their commitments. After 10 years they’ve trained me to finally accept their care and support. I heart them truly, because they get me and literally and figuratively (they pick me up from planes, trains and automobiles).
Started ebaying again after a year hiatus. Organized a couple drawers using these plexiglass configurable dividers, and used Pinterest to revamp my kitchen organizational system. Yes, kitchens should have systems. I could do better however and Kondo-fy my house.
Seek out inspiration
- Attended Pop Up Magazine
- Went to Pace Gallery
- A great Annie Leibovitz exhibit
- Had this amazing work trip to Santa Monica
- Attended Women Techmakers at Google and made my first web app.
- Back to the Maker Faire!
- Have been reading more
- Became a member at MOMA
- Traveled to Machu Picchu
I’ve done a bunch of things to seek out inspiration this year, but I want more. Machu Picchu was one of the hardest mental and physical things I’ve ever done, and I am just getting started pushing myself. Also hoping my yearly pilgrimage to SDCC will reinvigorate the spirit the way it normally does.
Feeling good at the midpoint. Promises green and on track.