Shop-stinance: Day 18

Day 18: 6:37am woke up with a minor sore throat and runny nose, confirming a belief from walking in the wind yesterday that despite beautiful weather in San Francisco, you should not only always bring a coat, but wear one. My mistake was not paying attention to the later.

Was supposed to meet Brian and Jen for trip planning, but instead shoot them both a quick email, as I would rather get better than go out to plan, and end up being miserable on our trip. After the email, my mind shifts to thinking about the juice diet, I try to pump myself up with a brief rally cry “Ready for juice day! Are you ready?!?!” Instead I flip over and go back to sleep.

Project Juice Diet

Project Juice Diet

Finally when I do get going, I decide to do some organizing and hang all clean laundry I’ve been leaving in a laundry basket, while catching up on tv.

Parenthood — Read on buzzfeed an interview with Erika Christiansen whereby I learn a new word: anachronism — a person or a thing that seems to belong to the past and not to fit in the present.

Arrow — While the story is finally getting good this season really need more scenes of bar pullups.

Glee — This season is really boring, may give up next season.

Mad Men — Wow Neve Campbell comeback!

Started getting hungry at 10:30, so went to have my first juice. Decided as long as I’m in the kitchen I might as well make Nomiku dulce de leche. As I’m sipping on my first Project Juice of the cleanse, I go into the pantry and pull out the condensed milk I was certain I had, to see of the two cans I have, one expired in 2008, and the next one in 2009. Decided to open them anyway to take a look. I mean the milk has been sealed in cans, what could go wrong?

Just as I break the seal with my can opener, a tan brown goo escapes can gasping for air. If you know anything about canned condensed milk, you know it should never be that color. I definitively decide that expiration dates do mean something in cans as well.

Instead of having my plans ruined, I will bundle up my sickypoo self in a huge hoodie and thick sweatpants and walk over to the Smart & Final, which is just a short walk across the street. For a moment I considered having Google Shopping Express deliver it to my door, so I can stay home warm and indoors as planned, but honestly it’s just across a street. I can’t justify having a delivery person for that and the gas it will take them.

I will make you dulce de leche, even if I have to cross a street! After all, this was after all my weekend goal. (I consider all foods ok by shop-stiance as long as I’m not hoarding).

While wandering around Smart & Final looking for condensed milk, not sure if it was a juice diet delirium, but I realize that this would be my first stop in a zombie apocalypse. Endless large aisles are filled with dried and canned goods as well a bit of fresh perishables. Besides, I feel like most people would try hitting up a Costco, whereas Smart & Final is small, easy to get in and out, and not as well known. Being a decent shot with a shotgun, handgun and bow and arrow gives me additional zombie courage. Now all I need is a leather vest with wings embroidered on the back, and then maybe a motorcycle. Walking Dead you better watch out!

On the way back I decide I might as well pick up my mail. Lug a huge stack of magazines and flyers. Woooo tax refunds, awesome. End up depositing the checks via the Chase mobile app, as I refuse to go out of the house again. Now that I’m settled in for the day at home, I put the condensed milk into the Nomiku regulated water bath.

Soon my precious. You will be mine.

Soon my precious.
You will be mine.

Now it’s time to go through the mail.

  • Redbook Subscription I got for free — nada.
  • Better Homes and Gardens — This catches my eye:
Artifact Uprising Wood Clipboard Calendar

Artifact Uprising
Wood Clipboard Calendar

Clipboard calendars! I’m not sure what people actually do with calendars like this, other than keep as a piece of art when digital calendars exist and are kept via smartphones. Drop into the Artifact Uprising website and see this:


Love. Will do this for sure after my 40 days are up. Look how beautiful this looks. Sometimes all you need is a beautifully crafted image to sell a product and a hope, that this lives up to the image.

Make it to 4pm and am on the 4th bottle of juice when the fatigue and lack of food headache sets in, ok I really need to eat something. Whip out from the fridge cured meats, and from the freezer a selection of cheese to thaw for later, go to the cabinet and get some table crackers. Ok yeah, I’m completely commited to ruining this juice fast.

Once I’m full, I’m working on my blog, while chatting with Brian about things to pack for our trip. He then links me to this pink sweater he wants to buy on J.Crew. Pink? Really? Our conversation goes as the following:

Brian: Dude I have $440 worth of stuff in my cart right now.
Brian: I need a new blazer and it’s in there right now, those things are expensive.
Me: What do you need it for?
Brian: Just for nights out, I only have one. I’m going to bring it to NYC, but I want a heather gray one.
Me: How do you decide what you need when shopping? Curious of a boy’s perspective.
Brian: I like business casual, I can’t complete it without a nice blazer. I need to match my jackets to my shoes.
Me: So you have gray shoes?
Brian: Brown/Dark brown. Normally gray would work nice with brown shoes.
Me: And dark brown won’t go with black?
Brian: Not really. Well you have a belt too, so the shoes have to match.
Me: And that’s purely for looks not to hold up your pants. And then plaid and gingham go with everything then.
Brian: Sadly that’s in my cart too.
I guess I hadn’t really ever thought about how men’s outfits are put together, I just know how to appreciate the details when I see them. Brian is probably one of the more fashionable straight men I know, his combinations are always very neat, preppy, and clean. Luckily shopping for men’s clothing doesn’t tempt me in the least, and I only favor J.Crew once in a while. If you’re reading this Bri, don’t get a bigger head than you already have or I’ll have to kick you starting on Thursday. 😀

Hoping by tomorrow morning I will have delicious dulce de leche to talk about. Yarg, and I probably should start packing soon so that I don’t forget anything. Was easy to avoid things today by keeping busy on the blog and catching up on shows and Joshua was right, I should only do one type of fast at a time.

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